At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, I felt okay. We had a state-wide lock down in California in mid-March, and my library sent staff home. Two months later, we returned to work, and I think that was when I began to notice the new level of anxiety I was feeling. The anxiety would arise when I had to leave home and interact with others, whether at work or at the grocery store (the only two places I was going to where I might interact with people–of note is the fact that there was now an armed security guard at the grocery store, no doubt due to violent incidents at some stores).
A few days after our return to work, the killing of George Floyd hit me like a ton of bricks. From that point on, it became a little hard for me to “pick myself up” mentally. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed–not only was the pandemic making me anxious, now the persistent racism in the USA was making me depressed.
I have a pretty well developed mental health toolkit, built up over years of struggling with anxiety and depression. My tool kit is full of wonderful strategies, my tried-and-true methods for finding joy and remaining calm in the naturally rocky waters of life. But the pandemic had yanked several of my key strategies right out of my toolkit and flung them far away from me.
Yoga and the Yoga Studio Community
I am a yoga enthusiast, yoga instructor, and mindfulness lover. Taking yoga classes three or four times a week, as well as teaching a weekly yoga classes, was my way of staying grounded, anxiety-free, and connected to a vibrant yoga community at the yoga studio where I teach, soaking in lots of deep breathing and positivity. In mid-March, my studio closed down due to the pandemic, and it has yet to re-open to the public. Suddenly, I had to practice yoga on my own, at home, with no familiar faces and smiles around me. It simply wasn’t the same. I took up walking, and now I do some jogging. But I am missing the physical healing and mental health benefits of weekly yoga and the warmth of my yoga community.
The Library and the Library Community
I so love being at the library, and library work has been a happy place for me from “day one” when I got my first job as a library aide. Eventually, as a reference technician, and then as a library instructional assistant, and now as a library assistant, I found even more joy in interacting with patrons and coworkers. This was a great boost to my mental health, and I felt fully engaged and energized by work. The pandemic took most of that energetic feeling away, replacing it with concerns over spreading the virus or getting sick. When we arrive work each day, we do a “daily health check” before we start a shift. Sometimes, I want to exclaim, “Yes, I feel fine physically, but I just want to feel happy again, happy to be around people and happy to help people find what they need at the library!”
New Strategies for Self-Care
With some gyms opening up for outdoor fitness, it is possible to return to working out with other people around. However, for me, there is always that fear of infection. So I am coming up with new tools for my toolkit. One of them is dancing to Afro beats or Afro pop music. The sounds and rhythms of African music take me back to my childhood home in Cameroon, and as soon as I put on my favorite songs, I feel a smile creep across my face. I go for my walks, do a little jogging, and then I set aside time to dance to my Afro beats playlist on Spotify. I listen to Burna Boy, Niniola, Tiwa Savage, Rotima, Ayo Jay, King Thona, Fireboy, Buju, Zubi, Maleek Berry, and many other Afro-fusionists, and I feel happy once again.
Library Support for Mental Health
Our library system is doing its best to be mindful of the mental health of staff and patrons, advocating that we be gentle with each other and be flexible and understanding, because the pandemic has certainly had an impact on how we all process the information overload and the near-constant change and updates unleashed by the pandemic. Issues of anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating or finishing tasks, or even issues of feeling safe and able to trust those around us are all very real mental health challenges caused by the pandemic’s stressful disruptions–disruptions in the economy, employment, educational practices, family living situations, and grief from losing loved ones to the virus (Xiong et al., 2020). We cannot just forge ahead in 2020, assuming that we are the same people we were in 2019 capable of cruising through whatever life threw at us a year ago.
As we move toward fully re-opening to the public, I hope libraries will take up the challenge of preparing staff to not only be more caring and understanding of each other but of patrons, as well as take up the challenge of examining our policies and procedures and simplifying things wherever and whenever possible. We can also invest in programs and services that encourage our staff and community members to exercise safely, eat healthy foods, and communicate with loved ones, all wonderful antidotes to the stress of the pandemic (Xiong et al., p. 62). In this way, we can all learn to just breathe again and be okay with where we are, right now, in this new pandemic reality. I guess that is what my inner yogi would say to my students if I were still teaching my candlelit, Sunday night, deeply relaxing, yin yoga class.
References
Xiong, Jiaqi, Lipsitz, Orly, Nasri, Flora, Lui, Leanna M.W, Gill, Hartej, Phan, Lee, Chen-Li, David, Iacobucci, Michelle, Ho, Roger, Majeed, Amna, & McIntyre, Roger S. (2020). Impact of COVID-19 pandemic on mental health in the general population: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders, 277, 55–64. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032720325891